8 srks in toffee wid taran

Taran: Hello people! welcome to 'Toffee with Taran'..Hope all of you are doing amazingly well! Welcome to toffee with Taran. Muahh Muahh. And our 1st guest for tonight is Raj- Arey Sadda Raj (with feminine nakhra). Raj Malhotra from London.

Raj from DDLJ walks in (blowing flying kisses)

Taran: Welcome ji welcome. Am so sorry aatey waqt aapko airport pe rok liya gaya.

Raj: Koi Baat nahi senorita, badi badi deshon mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain.

Rizwan khan from MNIK suddenly comes into the stage:

Rizwan: But I have a problem. My name is Khan and am not a terrorist. (in his characteristic way)

Taran: Rizwan aap to baad mein aanwale they.

Rizwan:Mujhe malum hai ke yeaha president sahab nehi anewale hai,Magar taran mere dil mein ajeeb sa ek dard hua. Mujhe laga chest congestion hain. Par phir pata chala ke tum mujhe yaad kar rahe they.

Surinder sahni from rab ne(comes from the back, pats on the back of rizwan and makes a gesture of saying hi): Ji, surinder sahni from Punjab power, lighting up your lives (haule haule music from background)

Kabir Khan(voice booms from background-slowly he makes an appearance): Humari yahi problem. Hum kabhi India ke liye nahi kheltey hain. Koi Panjab ko roshan kar raha hain to koi Guajarat ko,India ko koi nehi roshan karta..

Taran (sitting hassled and confused, 2 galey 2 haat diye boshey ache majhkhane)- Yeh ho kya raha hain?

Devdas (He is completely out and just barges onto the set… background mein everyone is shouting are gir jayenge)- Tarannnn!!! Kaun kambakht bardashyt karnek liye peeta hain? Par tumne apne show pe mujhe, devdas mukherjee ko hi nahi bulaya. Itni dukh to mujhe chandramukhi…sorry kya naam tha…paaro ke jane se bhi nahi hua.

Rizwan Khan (he suddenly tries to confront devdas)- Excuse me Mr., aap kaun hain (his mannerism), don’t you know. Your liver can get effect. Aapko lymphosercoma of the intestine ho sakta hain.

Devdas: Kyaaa??? (Drunk gesture). Lympho what?

Rizwan: Lymphosercoma of the intestine. Lymphosercoma from the epliglottis!

Surinder: Wo ji,kya hai na,ise to uske bare pata nehi hoga jee,pata hota toh sharab thodi peete??

Taran: Devdas ji,apka santualn abhi thik nehi hai,zara pliss is stage ko chor sakte hai?

Devdas:Babuji ne kaha ghar chor do,paro aur yeh aadmi(pointing towards rezwan) ne kaha sharb chor do,aur tum keh rahe ho ke hum stage hi chor de??

Kabir khan: Koi srage nehi chorega,kyuki pehli baar mujhe in sab me niyat dikhai dee..

Raaj: Niyat toh mere sabse acche hai,mein to sirf tani ji ko khush dekhan chah ta hu..

Taran: Are,Raaj ap bhi aa gaye,pehle se to surinder the,ab uska duplicate??

Raaj: Duplicate ka bablu aur mannu dada aya nehi,mein raaj hu.Mujhe iss show se sacchi me love ho gaya ji,rab di sow...

Raj: chup,raj mein hu..

Aryan: ek ladki thi deewani si,ek ladke pe woh marthi thi,paas aake,sharmake..Kuch kehna tha shayad usko,par jaane kisse darti thi..Mera naam RAM,random acess memory nehi,raj aryan malhotra..

Surinder: o jee mujhe kuch kehna hai..

Rezwan: Mujhe kuch kehna hai is the name of a flop romantic film which had tusshar kapoor in it along wid kareena ka..

Devdas: Are,bandh karo,aise Romantic baato..Mere chest me dard,sorry wo daru ka overdose ke wajah se,par heart me asli dard hota hai..Mere khayal se,sabko Pyar karna hi chor dena chahiye..

Aryan: Pyaar zindagi ki tarah hota hai, Jiska her morr aasan nahi hota, Her raste per khushi nahi milti, Per jab hum zindagi ka saath nahin chorte, To hum pyaar karna kyon chorein...

Raj: Mujhe to koi ek ladki pasand aa hi nahi sakti hai... ab kisi ki aankhen achi hai, to kisi naak achi hai, kisi ke honth ache hain, kisi ke kaan ache hain.

Surinder: Par taniji,mera matlab taran jee,yeh pyar kya hota hai mujhe malum nehi ji,kabhi aisa gud luck hua hi nehi ki ladies log se kuch introduction ho saake..

Raaj: Oye kaake,chup kar yara,tennu do,kuch nehi aati thi,tabhi to aditya chopra ko mujhe bhejna para..Never fear,when raj is here...

Kabir khan: Darna to kabhi bhi nehi chahiye,zindagi ke har mod ko hockey match ke tarah lena chahiye,india hockey team ko dekho,world cup me haro ki hattrick ki,phir bhi public se darte nehi..

Taran: relax relax all,ab aap jab aa hi gaye hai,toh isse apna hi show samjho..

Rezwan: Kuch kuch chize mujhe ajeeb lagta hai,abhi abhi taran ne kaha ke isse apna hi show samjho,kaise samjhu apna show? jab yeh show mera nehi hai?

Taran: muaahz muaahz,shaant ho jaiye ap saab,aaiye hum ek saath iss chat show me kuch important topics pe discuss karte hai..Global warming ke baare me apka kheyal kya hai Raj partner?

Kabir khan: 70 minute,nehi ek minute,ek minute hai aapke paas,iss ek minute me kaise bolna hai,yeh main apko nehi,bal ki aap mujhe sikhanege bolkar..

Raaj: o jee main to sab ko sab kuch sikhata hu ji,Raaj macho..nam to suna hoga,waise global warming ko maro goli,mujhe toh warming tabhi feel hota hai jee,tab tanni partner bike chala raha hota hai,aur main uske peeche,wow,she is so hot..

Aryan: Nehi,Yeh to galat hai,Global warming abhi ho rahe hai,kyuki maine gurukul ki garam hawaon ka disha badal dala,Nrayan shankar kuch nehi kar saka..

Surinder: O ji,global warming ke bare me hume pata nehi,hum To sirf punjab power se light dete hai,hume Sab me rab dikhta hai,isliye woha power cut nehi karte hai...

Rezwan: Liar liar,bum on fire,Global warming is the increase in the average temperature of Earth's near-surface air and oceans since the mid-20th century and its projected continuation..

Devdas: Global warming para tha,bhool gaya,par body warmin abhi yaad hai,jab bhi mein sharab ko peeta hu,tabhi mere andar garmi bhar jata hai..

RaJ: Raj,agar tujhe Global warming ke baare me batana hai,toh rezwan ko palat ke prompt karna hoga,palat palat,palat..

Taran: Are,ap sab toh line se hi bhatak gaye,devdas kya hua??

Devdas: Start mein nehi,Raj ne kiya tha..

Raj: oye,mein to end kiya,start nehi..

Kabir khan: issne tumne nehi,macho ko kaha

Raj: par asli raj to mein hu..

Raaj: to kya mein jhaak marne me raj hu..

Surinder: o jee,aap to mere hisse hai..

Aryan: Ise zarur narayn shankar ne bheja hoga

Rezwan : Haramkhor hai sab ke saab,goli maar dena chahiye..


In the end real srk eneters..in the backgrnd all dese fighting..

SRK: Namaskar,aap dekh rahe ho ke humara yeha kitne fights kar rahe hai..Yeh raj,aryan,rezwan,surinder,kabir khan,sab mere hi hisse hai,apna hissa hoke bhi yeh aapas me lad rahe hai,in sab ko toh maine hi banaya hai,kabhi mein raaj bana,toh kabhi suri,toh kabhi rezwan bana,toh kabhi kabir khan..par yeh log aapas me lad-jhagad rahe hai,khud ko mere se zyada ahmiyat deke,yehi problem hai india ka,hum ekkata dusro se ladne ke wajah,Hum apas me dange,fasad kar rahe hai..Kya faeda? Koi hindu Raj,Toh koi muslim kabir khan,un sab ne eksaath milkaar shahrukh khan-superstar ka janam diye hai..Kya hu mein rezwan,raj,suri,devdas ke bagair?Mere kamyabi ke piche in saab ka haath hai..humara desh bhi kamyaab ban sakta hai,agar hum aapas me lade na,jhagre naa,na tamil,na gujarat,na kashmir,na bangal,humara parichay sirf indian ho..Mera bharat mahan,kehne ya sochne se nehi hoga,INDIA Tab mahaan keh laega jab hum apna kaam se use mahan sabit karenge..
Vande Mataram...
Jai hind...




PS:

This writing was started by paushali de(my cousin),she is a terrific writer.I gave her the concept.She wrote the beginning,i then took it to the end....